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collegehumor:

Talking Down Your Classroom Boner [Click for full post]

Jason, 13, sits in the back of Ms. Stevens’ 7th Grade Algebra class.

Jason: That’s enough, you’ve had your fun. Now it’s time to come down.

Boner: Not until I get what I deserve!

Jason: I will not negotiate with a mad man.

Boner: No? Then I’ll BLOW UP! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!

Jason: No, no, no. No one wants that. Come down and we’ll talk like men.

Boner: Don’t fuckin’ patronize me, man. I know as soon as I come down you’ll forget all about me. I’M GONNA BLOW. I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL DO IT!

Jason: Do you remember ‘86? You want us to end up like Tommy Fitz? Ring a bell? 8th grader. Pooped his pants in gym and had to transfer schools. We don’t want another Fitz situation on our hands.

Boner: You think I want to be like this. You brought me here. You did this to me. You turned me into this monster.

Jason: Me? How?

Boner: You! EVERYONE! Jessica Callahan. Ms. Stevens’ tight sweater. The parabola on page 22. So curvy! YOU DID THIS TO ME!

Jason: Mistakes have been made on both sides, but it doesn’t have to end this way. Talk to me.

Boner: I just want my freedom. I’m locked up like an animal in here! I demand fresh air 24/7.

Jason: You know we can’t do that. Continue

ew haha